Death landed on our doorstep yet again. But this time, it came for my beloved Aunt Cookie. My Aunt and I had a very special bond that could never be broken. No not even in death. She was my second mother and she called me her “Poopsie”, yes she did LOL. She called me that when I was much younger and would later switch it up. Once I got older, she called me “Nae Nae” “Nea” or Linnea. My love for shopping and watching tv was birthed through her. Oh how she loved her tv shows. Especially the westerns and soap operas. Every time she saw me she would ask me, “Nea did you watch the stories?” Young and the Restless was her absolute favorite lol. I can’t even put into words the pain I felt (the pain I still feel) when I got that AWFUL phone call. The call that all of us dread. She died and I just froze up so bad. I actually had a panic attack, anxiety, and it was an outer body experience. I was in shock, disbelief, and pure sadness. I had just seen her not too long ago at the Nursing Home facility where she stayed. We watched tv, chatted a bit, and then I left. Why didn’t I stay longer?! Little did I know, that would be the very last time I would ever see her in the land of the living. I know it’s cliche but I truly thought my Aunt Cookie would live forever!!!! She was soooo sweet, special, beautiful, and kind to all who she crossed paths with. She was a true gift from God and the rarest of souls. A soul that I’ll always cherish in my fondest memories of her. It will be different and VERY difficult without her. It hurts, the pain feels unbearable in all honesty and I can’t understand it. However, I will never question GOD. I LOVE you soooo much Aunt Cookie FOREVER and ALWAYS! I promise to make you proud and I promise to leave my mark on this world while I’m here. You will live through me and I’ll see you again one day.
We laid her to rest today and now let the healing begin…
To Whom It May Concern,
I can no longer be your crutch…
I took you down countless deadend alleys. I sought out your weaknesses and instigated them further. I took your smile away and tried to bury it. I made sure you were always in bad company because I knew you’d feed into it somehow, as usual. I’ve thrown you into the thunder and the lightning. I really tried to break you and I really wanted to destroy you. You see…I represent a dark place. A dark place that you kept on revisiting. You’ve kept me alive all these years, simply by visiting me, and supplying me with a well lit space in your thoughts. However, it is time for you to let me go. While I’ve enjoyed your company, my work here is done. The trail of obstacles I set before you, in an attempt to keep you stuck, couldn’t even go up against your unstoppable strength, your will, and your determination to change. Things you probably never even knew existed within you. Hell, things I never even knew existed within you. I killed your soul countless times. But each time, it was exhumed and resurrected. Your light blinded my darkness. I can’t even define you. I admit that I definitely underestimated you and I failed. What a great thing for your sake because I don’t fit into anymore of your chapters. I’ve given you all the tools you’ll ever need to live in the present. I lured your power and your purpose out onto the surface which means I can no longer be a part of your life. I won’t mix in well with your purpose nor your power. Now, you must only move forward and use me as a stepping stool into your greatness. Don’t look back.
I will be doing MONTHLY book reviews just FYI. I love to read!!
I just finished reading Petals of Truth by Author LaToya Spencer. The words not only spoke to me. They spoke to my heart and my soul. I appreciated her transparency and relatable expressions. It’s filled with encouraging quotes and beautiful poetry that helps you to understand and to know that you are not beyond repair. If you have been through heartbeak, or abuse. If you lack self love, have low self esteem, or if you’ve ever been through struggles. ANYTHING!! This book gives you hope. I found myself talking out loud alot to myself lol reading it because I could deeply relate to what she has been through in life. I really enjoyed it! Check it out and Support this Queen!! You can purchase her book on Amazon and Find her on Instagram @toyaandrea
My name is Linnea, and thanks for coming to my Blog. Writing is one of the loves of my life. I’m a creative writer, truth teller, story teller, and I allow my soul to move me. I speak my mind and there is no sugarcoating. Come take this journey with me, as I will be writing from my soul, and writing for yours. I will cover everything and no topic is off limits. I hope that I can provoke feelings and thoughts in you. I hope I can open the door to more dialogue, inspire you, and impact you in some way. Let’s begin shall we….