Book Review/June

I will be doing MONTHLY book reviews just FYI. I love to read!!

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I just finished reading Petals of Truth by Author LaToya Spencer. The words not only spoke to me. They spoke to my heart and my soul. I appreciated her transparency and relatable expressions. It’s filled with encouraging quotes and beautiful poetry that helps you to understand and to know that you are not beyond repair. If you have been through heartbeak, or abuse. If you lack self love, have low self esteem, or if you’ve ever been through struggles. ANYTHING!! This book gives you hope. I found myself talking out loud alot to myself lol reading it because I could deeply relate to what she has been through in life. I really enjoyed it! Check it out and Support this Queen!! You can purchase her book on Amazon and Find her on Instagram @toyaandrea

 

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The Land

A stunningly beautiful land filled with wonder. A land that sparks curiosity. A hidden gem filled with magical love traps that will hypnotize you into a trance. The land is filled with powerful aromas of sweet smelling strawberries and flowers blooming in the spring. The land is fruitful, fulfilling and exceeds beyond expectations. A land where you’re free to come as you are. You can come as your true authentic raw self, or you can come covered up in a facade of protection. The land is sacred and intriguing. Though it’s a forbidden land and it is only accessible by the chosen one. Those who were not chosen still try to force their way in. Yet it’s discreetly tucked away in a secured place and I fully understand why though. I understand why so many desire entry. The land is a mesmerizing playing field of rainbows and exploding stars. It houses fireworks of rare emotions and storms of satisfaction. A land where the water continuously runs heavy and droughts cease to exist. The land is amazing, YES! But the land is invite only.

Have you received an invitation?

 

A Story Part 2

Make sure you read A Story Part 1 

She looked into Rhaya’s eyes again as she stayed seated in the passengers side, her eyes bloodshot red. The woman mouthed “Get in Rhaya.” Rhaya looking through the window yelled, “WHAT…NO WHO ARE YOU? GET OUT OF MY CAR!!!!” The woman mouthed again “GET IN NOW RHAYA, TURN THE KNOB. I HAVE UNLOCKED THE DOOR FOR YOU.” Rhaya was too scared to open that door and needed another way out. She started slowly backing away from the door, her eyes got so wide welling up with tears, and she started shaking. She picked up her phone and tried to dial out again, this time trying to call 911. But in the middle of dialing, her phone died. It was odd because her phone had been at 67% just a moment ago and she knew that she could always call emergency services, even if other calls or messages wouldn’t go through. At this point, Rhaya is freaking out. She ran up to the first floor and figured maybe that door would open. It was locked. So she ran up to the second and third floors. All doors were locked. “This is crazy and makes no sense! What is going on? Hello anybody? Please somebody help me I have to get out of here!!!!” And she sat down on the steps and started crying heavy tears. “Ok Ok Rhaya pull it together baby girl, you are ok. You are strong. Just breath and think”, she whispers to herself. She gets up and goes back down to the ground level to see if the woman is still there in her car. She gets to the window, hesitates, and looks out. She sees her car, though it’s empty and the woman is gone again. Rhaya makes her move, turns the doorknob so quick, and it opens. She breathes a sigh of relief. But before she could step foot out the door, the door slams shut on her. She falls onto the floor, hitting her head so hard that she started bleeding out. “Oh my GOD Ouch my head hurts so bad”, she cried out! She tried to get up. Then suddenly a voice, a woman’s voice that sounded like it was coming from the top level in the stairwell hollered out, “RHAYA you can’t leave! You remember me don’t you?” Rhaya doesn’t really recognize the voice and doesn’t reply back. She’s holding her bleeding head in pain, crying, trying to crawl back into a corner to hide, and hoping whoever or whatever it was would just go away. Rhaya quietly pulls out her phone and tries one last time to make contact with someone, anyone. But it’s still dead. The voice is getting closer, “Rhaya answer me now! You’re not getting out of here alive.” Rhaya yells, “Noooooo I don’t know you. I’m bleeding. I’m hurt real bad and I need help. I need to get out of here and it’s time for my insulin. Who are you? What do you want? I just want to go home.” She could hear what sounded like two voices whispering and they were getting closer. Then one said, “I wanted to go home too. You should’ve listened when my sister told you to get in the car earlier Rhaya. He’s coming for you. He’s been watching you. Don’t you remember what he did to me? You left me. Do you remember Rhaya?”  Rhaya cries out, “What? What are you talking about?” Then, there was a dead silence, so silent that you could hear a pen drop. Rhaya tried to stand which she did barely. She stood up for two minutes, then dropped to her knees, and was trying to crawl towards the door. She was shaking so bad and was so scared. Then all the lights went out in the stairwell. It was really dark. Rhaya screamed a scream, from the bottom of her toes, all the way up to the top of her head, “NOOOOOOOO HELLPPPPP ME PLEASSSEEEEEE!” Out of nowhere a woman’s voice resurfaced, “RHAYA listen to  me. Nobody can hear you. Remember 7 years ago, during the summer when you’d eat lunch out in the courtyard and I would be already deep into smoking my cigarette? We would chat for a bit. We talked about so much and shared so much with each other. But one day in particular, I asked you for a ride home, and you told me you couldn’t due to having an obligation you had made previously. I told you that I didnt live far and I felt like I was being watched. But you brushed it off and told me not to worry. Though we worked in different offices, we both got off at 5 pm that evening. I saw you get off the elevator, laughing with your coworkers while I was waiting for a cab in the lobby and I asked you for a ride once more. I told you that I had felt uneasy about staying behind and waiting. Once again you brushed it off and told me that you would see me the next day. I thought we were friends. My cab never came. Do you remember when I went missing, then later found dead? I had been raped and beaten to death. Larry did it and Hugo helped. Yes Larry the maintenance manager for our building and Hugo your boss. Well…he’s been watching you. My sister tried to save you. See…my sister committed suicide 3 days after my body was found. She and I were very close.”  Rhaya replied in shock, “Ms. Lita!!! Nooooooo! That’s not true and you’re dead!! You’re dead, and I’m dreaming. You’re dead! You’re dead!!”, Rhaya screamed. “No Rhaya you’re DEAD!!!”, Lita replied. 

 

A Story

Friday 6:00 pm in Waverly, VA

Finally, it was time for Rhaya to clock out for the night. She was the late person, and was the last one to leave the office. She happily rushed out the door so fast, trying to make it to the grocery store before it closed so she could pick up a few steaks for dinner. She planned a birthday dinner for one of her dearest girlfriends. Rhaya was rushing so fast, that she got all the way down to the parking garage, and realized she left her car keys, and her leftover lunch behind which she also uses to store her insulin. She hesitated but she knew she had to go back to the office. Hesitating because in the midst of her preparing to go back up four flights of stairs because she despises elevators, she noticed a very stunning, tall middle aged dark skinned woman with long, and luscious gray hair, green eyes, beautiful skin, dressed in a gray pants suit, standing beside a White Honda, that was parked two cars down from her car. She didn’t recongnize the woman at all, who was standing there staring directly into her eyes while smoking a cigarette. Now, she was used to people staring at her often, being an attractive young woman, and all. Rhaya is a 24 year old beautiful country woman, who stands 5ft 2 inches, 160 pounds with dark brown eyes, caramel glistening radiant skin, shoulder length sandy brown natural curly hair, with a bountiful shape. A super friendly, happy go lucky diabetic who doesn’t let her illness hinder her in any way. She’s a Medical Assistant by day, working for a busy well known GYN office, that happens to be THEE only GYN office in town, and a business student by night. With her popular friendly demeanor, she waved and said “Hi hun How are ya?” to the woman as she was walking back into the building. The woman never replied, and looked away, continuing to smoke her cigarette. Rhaya brushed it off, kept it moving, and entered the stairwell for the second time that day. Climbing step by step, out of breath with each step because she was already so tired from working all day. She reached the top at last, and went to turn the door handle but the door wouldn’t open. She tried several times but the door just would not open which was strange because the stairwell doors are never locked, and really can’t be locked. So she peeked through the door window, and couldn’t see anyone. But she heard what sounded to her, like two female voices whispering in the hallway. Though she couldn’t make out what they were saying. She decided to bang on the window, and yelled “Hey it’s Rhaya, and I work in Suite 403, Dr. Wooleys office. I left my car keys, and my lunch bag. I need to get into the office! Can you open this door please?” hoping that someone would hear her. No one came, and oddly enough, she could no longer hear the whispers. She just chalked it up to nothing, and her being deliriously tired, sat down on the top step, opened her purse, and pulled out her cellphone which was on 67%, started a group message, and told her girlfriends that she was delayed due to work. Then dialed her boss Hugo, to see if  he could help her but it went straight to voicemail. She sent him a text, Call me ASAP it’s Rhaya, I’m still at work, and I’m trying to get into the office. She began to dig deeper into her purse only to realize that she had left her phone charger on her desk. After looking at the time, she knew it was getting late. She thought to herself, “Shit, this is not happening. Ok ok don’t panic because I can just go back down to the ground floor into the parking garage, and cut around to the front of the building, and get in using the main entrance. Plus the security post is at the end of the parking garage, and I can even get Lou to ride me round there.” Rhaya closed her purse back up, and headed back down the stairs with a swiftness. She gets to the door, turns the handle, but that door wouldn’t open either. She tried so many times that her hand was sore. Starting to feel even more confused, and now alarmed, she sat on the bottom step thinking hard about what her next move was going to be. She pulled out her phone again to see if Hugo had replied which he didn’t. She attempted to call him again, this time there was no dial tone, and she couldn’t get the call to go through. She assumed it was because she was in the stairwell, service was being wacky. So she tried sending another text, but the message failed. She tried to send her girlfriends a text, and that message failed too. Rhaya’s parents, and her older twin sisters died in a boat accident when she was 2. So she doesn’t have family. There was nobody else to attempt to call or text. “OMG, Really?!!”, she yelled. Then, she remembered the woman she saw earlier in the parking garage. “Maybe she can help me out here.” She got up, and looked out the door window, and didn’t see the woman, or anybody anywhere near in sight. Guess what else she didn’t see? Cars. There were at least 6 cars in the parking garage earlier when she first realized she had left her things. Well…all those cars were gone except for hers. Rhaya’s lonesome car was still sitting there parked right where she left it. She shook her head in disbelief, and just didn’t understand what was happening. Why were those two doors locked all of a sudden? Then, the whispers started again, and it sounded like it was coming from outside the door again, like somebody was out there. She hopped up off the step, and looked out the window, AND SAW THE WOMAN AGAIN! The woman was alone, leaning on Rhaya’s car, and staring directly at her again. Before Banging on the door, Rhaya whispered to herself, “Where the hell did she just come from? Maybe she was on the other side finishing up her cigarettes.” Then she proceeded to bang on the door and yelled out, “Hey love! That’s my car!!!! Can ya please open this door up please?” The woman looked away again, opened Rhaya’s car door, on the passenger’s side, and sat right down in the seat.

 

To be continued..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO MEANS NO Part 1

F7629A4E-D202-48F8-ABFC-B2EB6CD1C249WOMEN…THE MOST UNPROTECTED, DISRESPECTED, MISTREATED, ABUSED, and BEAUTIFUL BEINGS AMONG THE LAND OF THE LIVING. 

 

Society I just don’t understand you, and I don’t think I want to. Human beings I don’t understand you and maybe I never will. A woman comes forward and says she’s been raped. A woman comes forward and says she’s being sexually harassed which could very well  lead to rape eventually. The first thing you accuse her of is lying and you demand to know why she waited so long to speak up. How dare you have such audacity?!! A woman is saying she was sexually assaulted. The first that you do is criticize and blame her? Never pointing your finger in the right direction. Point your finger at him. Hold him accountable. What you must know and what you must understand is that before a woman can conjure up enough strength to part her lips. Before she is ready to speak her truth, she has already went through unimaginable stages of trauma, fear, shock, and shame. Imagine… A cowardly robust man rips off your clothes, forces himself on top of you, while you repeatedly scream and cry “NO”. He’s touching you in all of your most private, sacred and vulnerable places. Violating you in every way possible. He forces himself so boldly, so roughly inside of you while you’re still screaming “NO” while simultaneously trying to fight him off.  I guess the word no is foreign to him. No isn’t good enough for him. He’s winning the fight and you can’t escape. You’re experiencing pain without pleasure. He’s hurting you, so bad. There’s no way out and in reality it’s only been a few moments. However, in your real time, it feels like forever. Your body becomes weak and you succumb to his force. He finishes but it’s far from over. After he rapes you physically, he begins to rape you mentally, and emotionally. He bum rushes your mind, kicks off his shoes, and makes himself feel right at home. He tells you that you deserved it, calls you a “slut”, and he threatens your life. He threatens your family’s lives. He engraves a fear in you so deep, that it frightens the depths of your soul. Then he leaves, but he left his bodily fluids behind, for you to lie in shame. Shame is what you feel. He made you feel ashamed. He made you feel dirty, weak, and disgusting. You want to run and tell. But, you can’t. At least not yet. You’re not ready to tell. So many thoughts are rushing through your mind. You’re broken. You’re scarred. Before you can begin to speak your truth, you have to put yourself back together piece by piece.

 Did I paint a good enough picture for you? So after a woman endures this magnitude of trauma, you shut her truth down immediately?! You blame her and not him? She’s the victim! Yet somehow she is to blame. You question why she took so long to speak her truth. Whether it was a week ago, three months ago, one year ago, five years ago, ten years ago, or 20 years ago! A crime was committed. A crime is still a crime and trauma doesn’t have an expiration date. It should never be taken lightly. We live in a world dominated by the Patriarchs. Some happen to be rich Patriarchs, who could care less about protecting the Matriarchs. YES, WE live in a world driven, and dominated by male privilege. God forbid the man is of a high caliber profile with great wealth. He will try to vanish her truth and he will persuade the masses to follow suit. Then again, what’s done in the dark always comes to the light. 

Acknowledge HER.

Protect HER.

Listen to HER.

Believe HER.

Seek justice for HER.

Hold HIM Accountable.

Blame HIM. 

No absolutely means NO. 

BE WELL

Women

Women are beautiful beings.

Women are wonderfully made.

Women are strong beings.

Women are brave beings.

Women are smart beings.

Women are sensual beings.

Women are lovers and nurturers.

But why can’t some of us get along?

Why can’t we work together?

Why can’t we support and lift each other up?

Why can’t we compliment each other?

Why?

We can’t because some of us are damaged.
We can’t because some of us have been abused.
We can’t because some of us can’t shake that jealousy bone.
We can’t because some some of us are insecure.
We can’t because some of us are miserable and want company.
We can’t because some of us don’t love who we see in the mirror.
We can’t because some of us can’t see the beauty in ourselves.
We can’t because  some us refuse to admit that we are in fact problematic.
We can’t because some of us have not yet come to realize our worth.
We can’t because some of us don’t understand or see our value.
We can’t because some of us are being treated poorly on a regular basis. We can’t because we think if we shine a light on her, it’ll dim our own light.

 

We can fix it though. But, we cannot fix how we interact with one another until we fix ourselves first. We have to take accountability, and responsibility. We will never get to a place of togetherness, if we cannot admit there is a problem to begin with. In order to fix it, we have to head straight over to the mirror.

Go to the mirror and look at her.
Tell her she is beautiful!
Tell her how much you love her with all her flaws and all.
Tell her that she deserves the best!
Tell her that you’re proud of her!
Tell her to never settle! Tell her it’s ok to compliment other women.

Tell her to keep going and to never give up!
Tell her that being cheated on, being abused is not the norm, and that it is unacceptable!
Work on HER, for we ALL are works in progress! Be patient with yourself and give yourself time to heal.

Ladies we can move mountains together! Let us all do better!

Be Well! 🙂