Aunt C

Death landed on our doorstep yet again. But this time, it came for my beloved Aunt Cookie. My Aunt and I had a very special bond that could never be broken. No not even in death. She was my second mother and she called me her “Poopsie”, yes she did LOL. She called me that when I was much younger and would later switch it up. Once I got older, she called me “Nae Nae” “Nea” or Linnea. My love for shopping and watching tv was birthed through her. Oh how she loved her tv shows. Especially the westerns and soap operas. Every time she saw me she would ask me, “Nea did you watch the stories?” Young and the Restless was her absolute favorite lol. I can’t even put into words the pain I felt (the pain I still feel) when I got that AWFUL phone call. The call that all of us dread. She died and I just froze up so bad. I actually had a panic attack, anxiety, and it was an outer body experience. I was in shock, disbelief, and pure sadness. I had just seen her not too long ago at the Nursing Home facility where she stayed. We watched tv, chatted a bit, and then I left. Why didn’t I stay longer?! Little did I know, that would be the very last time I would ever see her in the land of the living. I know it’s cliche but I truly thought my Aunt Cookie would live forever!!!! She was soooo sweet, special, beautiful, and kind to all who she crossed paths with. She was a true gift from God and the rarest of souls. A soul that I’ll always cherish in my fondest memories of her. It will be different and VERY difficult without her. It hurts, the pain feels unbearable in all honesty and I can’t understand it. However, I will never question GOD. I LOVE you soooo much Aunt Cookie FOREVER and ALWAYS! I promise to make you proud and I promise to leave my mark on this world while I’m here. You will live through me and I’ll see you again one day.

We laid her to rest today and now let the healing begin…

❤️

 

 

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Where was I?

9/11

I was eating in the lunch room with my best friend Larryn at College, just chopping it up, and I was just about to finish up. This was our everyday routine. I looked at the time because I had a Math class that I needed to get to soon which I wasn’t really looking forward to at all lol. In fact, I dreaded going. As soon as I started getting ready to get up from the table, I glanced over at the tv, and couldn’t really make sense of what I was seeing initially. I heard all these people in back of me yelling in synch, “Oh my God”, and more people started piling up in the lunch room. We were all standing around the tv witnessing horror. An unfathomable horror. What we were witnessing was a terrorist attack, planes flew into the Twin Towers, and the Pentagon like it was nothing. We were all stuck, eyes glued to the tv. I guess we were all in somewhat of a state of shock and still trying to process what was happening. Then, everyone started looking for their cellphones including myself. I needed to call my family to make sure they were accounted for and ok. I needed to figure out how I was gonna get home. I called my mother and just about everyone in my family. But my uncle. My uncle was supposed to have a meeting that morning at the Twin Towers. He owned a cleaning business and he was set to sign the contract for his team to start cleaning some offices at the Twin Towers. I used to say “for some reason” he didn’t make it there. I quickly realized it was God and I know that statement could lead others to confusion as to why their loved ones were there. Why did their loved ones have to die? Why didn’t God intervene? I can’t begin to answer such a heavy question. My uncle is no longer with us due to other reasons. Though he could’ve left us that day. So after I called everyone I needed to call, I wanted to get home as soon as possible. I was afraid and at that time, I didn’t know what was coming next. We all were panicking and afraid of the unknown. Larryn said, “Linnea Come on we are leaving now.” Without thinking I grabbed all of my things and we rushed out the door. There were so many people outside running to their cars and the parking lot was beyond jammed packed. It took us about 45 minutes to get out of the parking lot. Once we got onto the main road, it looked like a scene out of one of those Zombie movies where everyone is trying to leave before the Zombies attack. It was wild and it was like an out of body experience. I had never seen anything like that before. I got home 3 hours later and that ride home was intense. We almost crashed a couple times and it was bumper to bumper. I called my mother two more times while I was in the car because she was and is still the only person in this world who can calm my soul. Larryn was a superb driver and held her composure THEE entire time. I loved how strong she was and I miss her so much! Larryn is no longer with us due to other reasons as well. This day I will never forget.

The aftermath was a continuous and painful reminder of all the bloodshed. I watched all the news coverage and documentaries. I heard the 911 calls that came in on that tragic day. People jumping out of windows, people covered in so much debris, they were unrecognizable. First Responders, Firefighters, and sooooo many people died. Families were broken and the damage was catastrophic. It still makes no sense at all. To say it was sad would be putting it lightly for there are no words. Most of the people that survived that day, later died due to health problems they developed after 9/11. So many people lost their lives that day. I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like for them being inside, dying inside those burning buildings nor could I ever imagine what it was like being on a plane knowing it was going to crash. Knowing death was quickly inevitable for them. I don’t understand and I won’t pretend to. Those people left home, went on about their daily routines like they did everyday. Not knowing what was coming. Life is so short. My thoughts and prayers will always be with all those affected. This day, we remember.