Exit

4D88C451-F613-4EF6-9E0B-0E28C88F22B6.jpeg

 

To all my Fellow Bloggers who participated in Blogmas, WELL DONE!!!! It is not easy coming up with 25 Blog Posts and to be clear I had only planned out some of these posts. For most of them, I was just winging it, and I did not stick to only holiday themed posts. It’s especially hard to meet such a challenge, if you have lots of other things on your plate of life. I almost quit a few days back LOL!! I attempted Blogmas last year and I failed. But this year I completed the challenge, and what an awesome challenge it was! I’m proud of myself and you should be proud of yourself!!! If you took the time out to read my Blog, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I hope you enjoyed my creativity, expressions and thoughts. My hope as with any of my Blog Posts, is that you leave here inspired, motivated, that your thoughts are provoked, and maybe you’re a little hot and bothered LOL! I thoroughly enjoyed this, and now I will be taking a break from this Blog!!

Now, it’s time for me to enjoy Christmas and spend time with my family!❤️

 

M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S!!!!!!!!!

B E W E L L!!!!!

Q & A!

 

45A91B12-9DB6-48A1-89FB-8454C16AF163.jpeg

 

I asked my Instagram Fam to send me questions to answer on my Blog! Here it goes! 

 

1. What’s next for your Podcast in 2020, besides having me as a guest?

I’m going to have more guests on. I’m working on having some guests on that are in the political world. It’s going to be more great conversations, more informative conversations, and even more transparency. I can’t wait to share!!!!!

2. How do you get those famous people to come on your Podcast show?

When I first decided that I wanted to interview famous people, and to be clear, I have all types of dope guests on my show. It is not just limited to famous people. But to answer your specific question, I started doing research on how to go about reaching out to them. I came across an interesting article that gave tips and examples on how to contact them. I’ll tell you this, some people are more accessible than you think. At the same time, there’s lots of tedious hard work, research, and rejection involved. I’m thankful for each and every guest who graces my show!! It’s amazing to be able to connect with so many different people who are doing so many different things! I love it!!

3. What do you have planned for 2020? 

Omg! Where do I begin?!! I plan on traveling, releasing my CRAZY LOL Erotic Thriller Novel, upgrading my Podcast equipment, growing my podcast more, collaborations, building my brand, creating merchandise and just being successful.

4. How do you let go of a friend who cut you off because you told them they were not supportive of you?

A real and true friend is always supportive even if you’re doing something they don’t necessarily agree with. They’ll usually support you anyway. Maybe this friend felt like they were supporting you, but not in the way you thought it should be done. So they got offended. Cutting you off is a bit extreme, but it also speaks volumes. I don’t know all the facts so I can’t get deep into this. To answer your question, if this friend cut you off, you might have no choice but to let go. It sounds like they’ve made their choice. Don’t hold onto someone or something that doesn’t want to hold onto you.

5. What did you learn in 2019? What are you hoping for in 2020? 

Wow! I learned that life is way too short. People will be people. If I don’t take the time to heal my wounds, I will always be scarred and the brokenness will never subside. I learned that I can’t change people, but I can inspire them. I have to do what’s best for me and do what makes me happy.

In 2020, I’m hoping to find a million dollars on the ground or in my cash app LOL!!! I’m hoping to travel to California, Atlanta, Jamaica, and so many more places. I’m hoping that I can become even more successful. I’m hoping to evolve even more!! I’m hoping to exercise my creativity more!!

6. I read some of your sexy Blogs and stories. Why do you write about sex?

Sex is a of life and it’s intriguing. It’s a beautiful thing in my opinion. Sex mixed in with creativity equals a great read! Why not write about it? I enjoy it!! People enjoy it!!

 

7. Who’s your favorite actress and why?

Viola Davis! Some people are gifted in a special way and they’re meant to do certain things. That’s her! She portrays every role with a unique conviction. I pray I can interview her one day!

8. Who are you going to interview on your Podcast next? 

It’s a secret! LOL!!!

 

That’s it for Q & A! Thank you to all who participated and sent in questions!! Thank you and thank you for taking time out to read my Blog!! 

LINNEA

Alone

 

 

E52AA046-ECCA-4BF9-8A4B-6A08B2FF4DB1.jpeg

Alone in the dark…

I feel like an outcast. All my life, I’ve always felt like the outcast. Alone with just my thoughts is a dangerous place to be I know. Yet, it’s an intriguing place to be. The darkness conjures up all of my ill feelings. Feelings that I hold against myself daily that I try to keep hidden deep within me. I have a few friends here and there. But you know what, I feel more alone whenever I’m surrounded by people. How can this be? Those people never really seem to notice though. I smile and I laugh. It’s a mask that I wear and I wear it so well. Why am I like this? Sometimes I prefer to be alone because I’ve become so accustomed to the darkness, the loneliness, and the negative thoughts that have kept me company for so long. The worst part is that I believe those thoughts. My mind feeds off of those thoughts. They comfort me and they’re my friends. My best friends, actually. They tell me to be sad, that it’s better for me to be alone, to not have any contact with the outside world, and they keep me far away from anything or anyone trying to rescue me from myself. Twisted right? No…what’s twisted is that I fell into the trap and I’m comfortable there. Will someone save me or will I have to save myself?

Depression is real and it preys upon the weak. It preys upon the weak and the strong. Check on your strong friends and your weak friends. Check on all your friends and loved ones. Check on someone today. In some cases, an immediate intervention is needed. Sometimes a person seems happy, but pay attention to their eyes. The eyes will always lead you to their truth. It is imperative that we all take great care of our mental health and that we seek help when necessary. Seek help when you can’t help yourself. Mental Illness is real and it plays evil tricks with your mind and can end in tragedy. Please seek help!

D29FC6CC-4E03-4667-A039-448EF625B9E4.jpeg

76FBF56F-E68A-441B-90DF-94823B46596C

 

DrOwN

I wrote this piece at the beginning of my anxiety/panic attacks diagnosis. I decided to share it on my blog. There are many people out there who suffer with this and there are many people out there who still don’t quite understand it. This was the best way I knew how to describe what my experience was like during my episodes, in my own creative way and what I still go through at times. It’s imperative that I share it because you need to know that my life is not always peachy and this is one of my struggles. A struggle that has shaped me into the woman I am today. A struggle that has birthed the mindset I have today. Step into my world temporarily and let me strip down naked… 

B6217B76-D5F5-4F07-B1A1-585B0C93713A

 

I was laying out on the beach styling in my fuchsia soaked two piece, listening to the sounds of the ocean, and soaking up serenity. The sky was so beautiful and the wind was so calm. The sun was shining so bright, sunkissing every inch of my body. I think it was in the low 80s that day. All I know is, I was in my element and it wasn’t that crowded at all which was perfect because I’ve never been a fan of large crowds. Funny how things can change in a matter of minutes or seconds even. I grew tired of laying down and wanted to go into the water a little. I walked towards the water where the waves were steady but not too strong, and it felt good. I was truly in my happiest place. After a while, I could see the waves coming and they were crashing into me. Though I never was one to go out too deep anyway. The waves slowly but surely started creeping up, getting more, and more aggressive. So of course I turned back around, hoping to get back over to my spot on the sand. I mean…I love a good wave crash, usually. But before I knew it, the tide engulfed me and carried me deep into the ocean. I was fighting to find my way back up to the surface and I did at one point. Actually at several points. But each time, I was dragged back down underneath of the water. Just when I thought I had escaped, the water would overcome me again. I was in a serious battle with this damn ocean and I was losing. I was holding my breath, attempting to swim, kicking, and just putting those good ole swimming lessons I picked up at a swim club to use, and trying to get to some air. I just needed some air. I was holding my breath in so hard, it felt like my head was going to explode. My arms and legs were cramping up on me. I was in distress and I had lost all control. I had absolutely no control over what was happening to me and I couldn’t get my rhythm back. You can be the best swimmer, REALLY! However, once you’ve entered a panic mode or lost total control, it won’t matter much. My body was feeling extremely weak, very numb and I didn’t have much fight left in me. Why was this happening to me? I was just enjoying myself a moment ago. Why me? I knew I didn’t deserve this. Then, everything became so still and quiet. I opened my eyes, my body was going limp, sinking deeper, and deeper into the bottom of the ocean. I was preparing to succumb but someone or something whispered to me, “It’s over now.”

I don’t know how. But, I ended up back in my spot on the sand where I was initially. I felt completely fine. Unscathed is a better word to describe it I guess.

 

ANXIETY AND PANIC ATTACKS ARE REAL! Don’t ever be afraid to seek help! 

Be well!

Transparency

Once upon a time…

It’s raining hard, seems like it’s been raining for hours. I can hear the thunder and the lightning is not too far from behind. Torn down beyond rock bottom. I’m underneath a barrel actually. It’s dark and cold. No one knows I’m here because I’ve been pretending well. All alone feeling helpless and weak. Lost the energy to lift my head, had every ounce of confidence sucked right out of me. Self esteem is scarce. There’s nothing left. I really have nothing left. I want to quit, for I have already seen and felt the worst. I’m tired and worn out. I feel bad. What’s the point of all this? Could things really get any worse? Could I feel anymore worse than this? I close my eyes, tears start rolling heavily down my face. The thunder and lightning dies down and now I can hear a calm rain. My inner voice starts speaking to me. But I don’t even recognize it because I haven’t heard it in years. It’s telling me not to quit. It’s telling me to keep going. It’s telling me that I haven’t fulfilled my purpose in this world yet. It’s telling me that I’m needed and that I’m more than enough. It’s telling me to get my ass up. It’s telling me that I’m loved. It’s trying to pull me out of this coma of depression. I opened my eyes and conjured up enough strength to get up. It was still dark and though I couldn’t see all the light just yet. I knew what I had to do. Little by little, I crawled out from that dark place and I saw the light. I learned how to love myself. I learned how to be kind to myself and to have more patience with myself. It was a hard road to travel on. Yet it was the road I needed to travel. I continued listening to my inner voice. Then, I started reading daily affirmations until they were embedded into my soul. I removed anyone and anything that was toxic to my wellbeing. I blocked out any and all negativity. Once I reached a place of self love and inner peace, everything else fell into place. I’m up now and I’m better than ever! I vowed to always empower others. To make others feel great about themselves. To motivate. To encourage others through my actions and by sharing my story because I know what it’s like to be torn all the way down. I never want to feel that again. No where near perfect and always a work in progress. Aren’t we all? 

Be Well!:)