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Transparency — March 7, 2019

Transparency

Once upon a time…

It’s raining hard, seems like it’s been raining for hours. I can hear the thunder and the lightning is not too far from behind. Torn down beyond rock bottom. I’m underneath a barrel actually. It’s dark and cold. No one knows I’m here because I’ve been pretending well. All alone feeling helpless and weak. Lost the energy to lift my head, had every ounce of confidence sucked right out of me. Self esteem is scarce. There’s nothing left. I really have nothing left. I want to quit, for I have already seen and felt the worst. I’m tired and worn out. I feel bad. What’s the point of all this? Could things really get any worse? Could I feel anymore worse than this? I close my eyes, tears start rolling heavily down my face. The thunder and lightning dies down and now I can hear a calm rain. My inner voice starts speaking to me. But I don’t even recognize it because I haven’t heard it in years. It’s telling me not to quit. It’s telling me to keep going. It’s telling me that I haven’t fulfilled my purpose in this world yet. It’s telling me that I’m needed and that I’m more than enough. It’s telling me to get my ass up. It’s telling me that I’m loved. It’s trying to pull me out of this coma of depression. I opened my eyes and conjured up enough strength to get up. It was still dark and though I couldn’t see all the light just yet. I knew what I had to do. Little by little, I crawled out from that dark place and I saw the light. I learned how to love myself. I learned how to be kind to myself and to have more patience with myself. It was a hard road to travel on. Yet it was the road I needed to travel. I continued listening to my inner voice. Then, I started reading daily affirmations until they were embedded into my soul. I removed anyone and anything that was toxic to my wellbeing. I blocked out any and all negativity. Once I reached a place of self love and inner peace, everything else fell into place. I’m up now and I’m better than ever! I vowed to always empower others. To make others feel great about themselves. To motivate. To encourage others through my actions and by sharing my story because I know what it’s like to be torn all the way down. I never want to feel that again. No where near perfect and always a work in progress. Aren’t we all? 

Be Well!:)

 

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