I used to always wonder what my purpose was in this life that I was gifted with. I could never really figure out what my calling was and I always found myself asking God, quite frequently to show me something. I just wanted something more, something big. I felt useless and unfulfilled which transitioned into depression. Now, I’ve dibbled and dabbled in many things like tap dance, dance in general, singing/songwriting, instruments, YouTube videos, and cooking. These are all great things and I like them. I do love music, even went as far as going into the studio. But, it’s not something I ever felt fully passionate about pursuing professionally. Even with doing all of these things, I still felt a void, and I still felt like it wasn’t my calling. It wasn’t my purpose. It didn’t move me nor did it move my soul.
When I was in Middle School and High School, I used to keep a journal. I wrote about my days, my experiences, things I was going through, and I wrote poetry. Oh and I wrote songs. Middle School was rough for me so writing helped me to get through it. When I got to High School, I started writing more and more. I wrote more songs, more poetry, and I wrote my very first story. The story was actually for a class and I received an A on it. It was about a girl who was possessed after staring into the snow and the story got weirder. Don’t know where the hell that story came from lol. My teacher loved it. I knew I was different lol. My teacher at the time, whose name I can’t remember for the life of me. He was an older gentleman with long gray Fabio type hair lol which he always wore in a ponytail, and he wore glasses. You know, he could’ve been kin to Sean Connery. Anyways, he told me to keep writing and to never stop. Of course I didn’t take him seriously at the time because I was young and dumb. I went on to graduate, went to college for a little bit to pursue a degree in forensics, and I stopped writing. I stopped writing. I had children and my writing got lost in my new life. My life revolved and still revolves around my family. Anything and everything I ever wanted to do was swept under the rug.
At the beginning of 2018, I started writing again. I started to notice the feeling I got whenever I was writing. I felt joy, passion, and happiness. I felt really good! I enjoyed writing and I enjoyed reading. It eased my anxiety too which was a bonus for me! I had never shared any of my work with anyone except for my teacher. I was always private when it came to things like that. I was holding so much inside which was part of my problem and part of my struggles. Writing was my way of expression. Writing was my passion. It fulfilled me. Writing is my passion. Helping others is also my passion. So in September 2018, I finally decided to follow my dreams because life is so short. I launched my Blog in hopes of impacting and inspiring others through my words, my creativity, sharing my truth, and my experiences. I was nervous about my very first Blog Post because it was raw and very real. I was finally unleashing my weaknesses and struggles out into the world. For all to see and for some to judge. Weaknesses that have kept me dormant all these years. Though I knew I wanted to and I couldn’t risk caring about what people thought. I couldn’t allow it to stop me. I needed to build this blog on the shoulders of my transparency. I’m so happy that I did. So many people tell me everyday that I’m inspiring them, impacting them in some way, how they are now following their dreams, or starting their own blogs because of me. No I’m not a celebrity or even close to it. No I didn’t decide to do this just to please anyone other than myself. I did it because I wanted to. Yet, I’m still making an impact and trying to live a meaningful life in the process. That’s all I want to do. Do you know how great of feeling it is for people to look at you and go, “I got this”, “I can do this because she’s doing this”, “You’ve inspired me” because it is truly amazing!!! However, I’m not stopping there. I decided to start writing a book, an Erotic Thriller Novel, and I launched my Podcast recently because I need to go bigger. I thought writing brought me joy. Omg!!! This Podcast is definitely my calling as well!!!! I have so many ideas and places I want to take this new platform. I can reach even more people. I asked God to show me and he showed out. I have lots of work to do.
I wrote all that to write this, YOU HAVE TO PAY GREAT ATTENTION TO WHAT MOVES YOUR SOUL, TO WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE ENDLESSLY, AND DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!! Ask yourself why you’re in it. You can absolutely do anything you want to do. You can!! It is never to late to start and it is not impossible. There is room for us all to win, to be great, and to be successful! Always Remember this! Be well!
Thank you for taking time out to read this.
Writing is my love and words are my drug of choice. You are so correct that thing that moves you, holds your passion. When I had to leave my classroom because of illness, I found that through writing I could still teach and my reinvention and actual birth began❤