To Whom It May Concern,
I can no longer be your crutch…
I took you down countless deadend alleys. I sought out your weaknesses and instigated them further. I took your smile away and tried to bury it. I made sure you were always in bad company because I knew you’d feed into it somehow, as usual. I’ve thrown you into the thunder and the lightning. I really tried to break you and I really wanted to destroy you. You see…I represent a dark place. A dark place that you kept on revisiting. You’ve kept me alive all these years, simply by visiting me, and supplying me with a well lit space in your thoughts. However, it is time for you to let me go. While I’ve enjoyed your company, my work here is done. The trail of obstacles I set before you, in an attempt to keep you stuck, couldn’t even go up against your unstoppable strength, your will, and your determination to change. Things you probably never even knew existed within you. Hell, things I never even knew existed within you. I killed your soul countless times. But each time, it was exhumed and resurrected. Your light blinded my darkness. I can’t even define you. I admit that I definitely underestimated you and I failed. What a great thing for your sake because I don’t fit into anymore of your chapters. I’ve given you all the tools you’ll ever need to live in the present. I lured your power and your purpose out onto the surface which means I can no longer be a part of your life. I won’t mix in well with your purpose nor your power. Now, you must only move forward and use me as a stepping stool into your greatness. Don’t look back.
THIS IS FOR ALL MY QUEENS!!
- I am a unique beauty.
- I am an exquisite imperfect gem.
- I am more than enough.
- I am filled with mountains of strength.
- My power is boundless.
- I can do whatever it is that I want to do, no matter how many people tell me no.
- Fear will not survive, if it ever tries to break into my life.
- Doubt is now a resident of my ancient memories.
- I am built to surpass every storm of struggle.
- I’m going to get better because I know I deserve better.
- I can build my own empire and create my own wealth.
- When negativity trys to creep in through my door, I will shut it immediately.
- I’m going to be okay.
- It is my duty to believe in myself and to love myself even if no one else does.
- If it’s a small dream or a big dream, it is still my dream. I will follow it until the end.
- I will stay focused on my path and go to war with any obstacles that meets my eyes.
- I see my potential and I will run to the stars with it.
- I will never allow my past to define my evolution.
- I will start forgiving myself and stop punishing myself for all the mistakes I was meant to make.
- I will practice self care more and take better care of myself.
- Quitting can never exist in my mind nor my vocabulary.
- I will remove any and all things that creates toxins for me.
- I am always fully responsible for my own happiness no matter what.
- I sit on a solid throne. A throne that I’ve earned and built using concrete made of my own sweat and tears. A throne that I’ve taken my precious time building and I will not grant anyone’s access to tear me down from it.
- I am a Queen.
I exude a power so grand. A power so great. A power so strong that it will move you and the masses into your worthiness. It will erupt your soul into fire. I can shield you with a magnifying light of value. It will shine so bright into the eyes of those who don’t believe. Your presence will be a beauty to behold and light up any room. I’ve been known to ruffle the envious feathers of those who don’t know me yet. I’ve also been known to cause an explosive, life changing domino effect. Not only can I help you find those tiny puzzle pieces that you lost. I can put them back together in perspective. I will give you inevitable strength of infinity and beyond. But you have to find me which can be tricky for you. I’m waiting for you to find me…
Isolate yourself, Sit, DIG deep, and pull back the troubled layers.
There you will find me.
I will be doing MONTHLY book reviews just FYI. I love to read!!
I just finished reading Petals of Truth by Author LaToya Spencer. The words not only spoke to me. They spoke to my heart and my soul. I appreciated her transparency and relatable expressions. It’s filled with encouraging quotes and beautiful poetry that helps you to understand and to know that you are not beyond repair. If you have been through heartbeak, or abuse. If you lack self love, have low self esteem, or if you’ve ever been through struggles. ANYTHING!! This book gives you hope. I found myself talking out loud alot to myself lol reading it because I could deeply relate to what she has been through in life. I really enjoyed it! Check it out and Support this Queen!! You can purchase her book on Amazon and Find her on Instagram @toyaandrea
You call me your friend..
Yet you play with my weaknesses like they’re toys. You spew words of hate about me to others behind my back, attempting to cut down my soul. You intended to release my box of secrets after being sworn to secrecy. I can smell your bad energy before you enter any room. Your toxins are smothering me within our damaged circle. Your loyalty is invisible. The trust I once had for you is now extinct. You pretend to be happy for me, when I can clearly see the look of disgust in your eyes. Yes…the eyes tell it all. You can’t hide it no matter how hard you try. I can see right through you. I don’t understand. Please stop calling me your friend. You aren’t genuine and you know it. Deep down inside you hate me simply because I represent your deeply rooted, unaddressed misery. Your misery yearns for my company. But, I continuously decline and now I’m acting funny. That’s what you call it. I’m not acting funny. I just know I deserve better and I don’t do toxic. So just let me go in peace.
You keep asking HER what that mouth do…
It’ll make you print out flyers and put out a amber alert
Swallowing you whole in her body of water
Making your entire body jerk
Drowning while convulsions are hitting you left and right
Making you moan
She loves to hear you enjoying pleasure
Making you groan
Until you fall on your knees
Begging her yes
Please, you’ll be continuously begging the Queen
To drain you dry
She can see the explosion in your eyes
And the Queen obliged
That is…if the Queen invites you into her chambers
To the Exonerated 5, if ever you get to read this. Please know that you are loved and supported forever! You all have survived what would’ve killed most of us. What you went through was not in vain. Your story is going to help people. Continue flourishing and living.
I heard about Central Park 5 and I read about Central Park 5. It’s one of those awful stories you want to tuck away because it hurts too much. A painful reminder of the injustices we’ve faced and continue to face still to this day. I was 7 when it all unfolded. I watched Ava DuVernay’s 4 part series When They See Us on Netflix this past weekend and though there is another documentary out there. I knew that Ava would give us the rawest and truest version. She did not disappoint as she never does. I couldn’t bring myself to watch it right away because I wasn’t mentally prepared. But are we ever really prepared for such tragedies? So I clicked play and have been emotionally ignited ever since. I feel rage, sadness, disgust, and the tears continue. The more I watched, the more my heart broke. It broke into tiny little pieces for all of them. I wanted to jump right through the screen and help them. Can we talk about the epic portrayals though?!! The performances were more than compelling, filled with a rare conviction, and beyond amazing. Korey’s experience broke me all the way down completely. I have 2 sons and I saw them. I saw them and I lost it. I saw my sons getting continuously screamed at, brutalized, victimized, coerced, beaten, and falsely accused. I saw my sons sitting in those interrogation rooms scared, hungry, thirsty, broken, and drained. They were my sons and I saw red. There is something wicked in the amount of diabolical power that lives in a White Lie. I know what I need to do in this teachable moment. It’s what we all need to do in the Black Community. We need to arm our sons with endless shields of knowledge and awareness. We have to arm our sons in such a way that racist weapons formed against them shall never prosper. We need to arm all of our children and we have to continue to fight. Ava knew exactly what she was doing. I was always woke. Now, I’m wide awake.