Linnea’s Blogging For The Soul!

Life experiences, interviews,women, men, natural hair, natural bodies, mental health awareness, relationships, sex, love, life, anxiety, and personal experiences.

NO MEANS NO Part 1 — October 9, 2018

NO MEANS NO Part 1

F7629A4E-D202-48F8-ABFC-B2EB6CD1C249WOMEN…THE MOST UNPROTECTED, DISRESPECTED, MISTREATED, ABUSED BEINGS AMONG THE LAND OF THE LIVING. 

 

Society I just don’t understand you, and I don’t think I want to. Human beings I don’t understand you, and maybe I never will. A woman comes forward, and says she’s been raped. A woman comes forward and says she’s being sexually harassed which could very well, by the way lead to rape eventually. A woman has been sexually assaulted. The first thing you accuse her of is lying, and you demand to know why she waited so long to speak up. How dare you have such audacity?!! You blame her, never pointing the finger in the right direction. Point your finger at him. Hold him responsible, and hold him accountable. What you must know, and what you must understand is that before a woman can conjure up enough strength to part her lips. Before she is ready to speak her truth, she has already went through unimaginable stages of trauma, fear, shock, and shame. Can you imagine a cowardly man forcing himself on top of you, while you repeatedly scream “NO”? Can you imagaine him touching you in all of your most sacred, and vulnerable places? Ultimately forcing himself so boldly, inside of you while you’re still screaming “NO” while simultaneously trying to fight him off.  I guess no doesn’t mean no to him. No isn’t good enough for him. He’s winning the fight, and you can’t escape. You’re experiencing pain without pleasure. He’s hurting you. There’s no way out, and in reality it’s only been a few minutes. However, in your real time, it feels like forever. Your body becomes weak, and you succumb to his force. He finishes but it’s far from over. After he rapes you physically, he begins to rape you mentally, and emotionally. He forces himself into your mind, kicks off his shoes, and makes himself feel right at home. He tells you that you deserved it, calls you a “slut”, and he threatens your life. He threatens your family’s lives. He engraves a fear in you so deep, that it frightens the depths of your soul. Then he leaves, but he left his bodily fluids behind, for you to lie in shame. Shame is what you feel. He made you feel ashamed. He made you feel dirty, weak, and disgusting. You want to run, and tell. But, you can’t. At least not yet. You’re not ready to tell. You’re broken. Before you can begin to speak your truth, you have to put yourself back together piece by piece.

 Did I paint a good enough picture for you? So after a woman endures this magnitude of trauma, you shut her truth down?! You blame her and not him? You question why she took so long to speak her truth? Whether it was 3 months, 1 year, 5 years ago, 10 years ago, or 20 years ago! A crime was committed. A crime is still a crime, and trauma doesn’t have an expiration date. It should never be taken lightly. We live in a world dominated by the Patriarchs. Rich Patriarchs who could care less about protecting the Matriarchs. YES, WE live in a world driven, and dominated by masculinity. God forbid the man is of high caliber, such as an A list celebrity, or a wealthy businessman. He will try to vanish her. Then again, what’s done in the dark always comes to the light. 

Acknowledge HER.

Protect HER.

Listen to HER.

Believe HER.

Seek justice for HER.

Hold HIM Accountable.

Blame HIM. 

No absolutely means NO. 

BE WELL

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Cheating — October 7, 2018

Cheating

 

Why do people cheat? Honestly, there’s many reasons why people cheat. There are four main reasons, I believe. Here’s my take…

You’re unhappy with how you’re being treated in the relationship.
You’re constantly feeling neglected by your partner.
You want to have your cake, and eat it too.
You’re not receiving the amount of sexual attention you desire.
BUT, the million dollar question is (drum roll please) Why not just leave the relationship?

Seems like a legit question, and a fair question. However, it can be complicated for many. Married couples have to go through hoops to leave which sometimes involves lawyers, paperwork, and money which the couple might be lacking. Some stay for the children they share together. Some stay because they have low self esteem, and settle because they don’t think they can do any better. Some stay because of the lifestyle that they’re accustomed to living. Some stay because they’re not self sufficient. Some stay because they believe in forgiving, and they believe that people can change.

Some couples are married with, or married without children. Some couple aren’t married at all and may or may not have any children together. But, all of these couples have one thing in common, they’re in committed relationships. At least those are the kinds of couples I have in mind for this particular subject. OK, so where do we begin? Most people need love, attention, and sex yes! They need nthese things on a regular basis. I mean…that comes with the relationship territory, you know. Cheating on someone is such a bold, selfish, and utterly disrespectful act, in my humble opinion. To voluntarily enter a committed relationship, then when things don’t go perfectly as you had planned them to go in your head. Then, cheating becomes your solution. First of all, no relationship is perfect. Every relationship has their ups, downs, good days, and bad days. But cheating is not included in the ups, downs, good days, and bad days in a relationship, again in my humble opinion. Cheating is the ultimate violation of a committed relationship, not to be included in everyday problems. In a relationship, there will be disagreements which may lead to arguments here, and there. One person in the relationship may work long hours which leaves very little room for quality time. One person in the relationship may not want to have sex as much as the other, or they don’t want to try new things in the bedroom. One person in the relationship may not be feeling wanted, loved, or desired like how they were accustomed to in the beginning. One person may not be able to let go of the “player mentality”. They want to be able to keep their main partner while having other options to choose from on the side, from time to time. All of these are excuses, and all of these excuses can be addressed directly with your partner, in order to come to a resolution that will satisfy the both of you. If you’re spouse is working too much for your liking, stop and be thankful he or she is employed first all. Then, set aside a designated day or some designated hours to spend time together. If you’re feeling lonely, and you feel like you’re partner is not giving you enough attention. Then tell them, and let them know how you feel. Compromise, meet your partner half way, and try to work it out. Trust me I understand because it’s so easy to get caught up with someone else who’s paying you more attention than you’re used to getting at home, who’s saying all the right things, who’s giving you better sex, great conversation, who’s so nice to you, and is just treating you like royalty. However, that’s why I always say, “Cheating is a selfish act”, and it’s inconsiderate. It truly is, and it’s very hurtful. All you’re thinking about is YOUR wants, and YOUR needs. You’re enjoying being in the company of someone else who makes you feel a certain type of way. It’s a certain type of feeling that you’re lacking in your relationship. Is it worth it, really? Like the saying goes, “Everything that glitters, ain’t gold”. While you’re laying in bed, conversing, or having sex, and enjoying yourself. You’re simultaneously conjuring up an earthquake of mass destruction. Cheating affects not only your partner. It also affects your children, and your family in general. It will affect your partner mentally, physically, and emotionally. It will destroy your relationship’s most precious necessity, TRUST. Once the trust is destroyed, the relationship can easily be broken. Think before you cheat, and exhaust all other options. Most importantly, keep the line of communication open. Be Well:)

Anxiety and Panic Attacks PART 2! —

Anxiety and Panic Attacks PART 2!

Living Life with Anxiety/Panic Attacks PART 2

I just woke up, and the first thing I can see, is how the sun is shining so bright through my blinds. It’s so beautiful outside, and I can hear the birds singing so beautifully. I’m just laying in my bed, thinking about all the things I want to do today. I want to visit my mom, go grocery shopping, go to the mall, and go get my nails done. But breakfast first of course! After I finished eating my breakfast, I hop in the shower, start singing, lol acting a fool, thinking about all the things I’m about to do, and then I get out. I dry off, and go to my room to get all dressed up. But I start feeling hot, like clammy really, my stomach is turning, my legs feel weak, and I feel like I’m gonna lose my balance. I just feel like something is coming over me, and I feel sick or something. I sit down on the bed because I don’t know what’s happening to me. Then, it passes, and I resume where I left off. Finally, I’m all dressed, and ready to head out. So, I start to think about all the bad things that could happen, and that could happen TO ME once I step foot outside my home which is my comfort zone. What if someone follows me, follows my car, and tries to kill me while I’m in the store? What if I crash? So many different negative scenarios are running fast through my mind right now all at once, and I feel like my head is spinning. Then, I start to feel hot & clammy again, my heart starts racing, and I feel like I can’t breathe. I’m scared, and it’s fight or flight. Well at least that’s what mode my body’s in. I feel like I’m going to die, and I’m crying now. I’m crying because I just want it to stop, and I want to feel normal again. It’s too much for me to handle. So, I get back in the bed to collect myself. Only I end up staying there for most of the day never getting anything accomplished. But, I feel safe in my bed, and it’s my hiding space. A safe haven for me. I feel like nobody will bother me there, and no one will ever find me there. It’s my safe space, yet it’s my loneliest space. My most vulnerable space. Nobody understands me, and they all think I’m crazy. They all tell me to just get over it, not to let it hinder me, pray, do this, and do that. I promise you it’s so much easier said than done. I feel like I’m confined to a tiny prison cell, and they threw the key away. I can’t get out. But, I want to get out. How do I get out?

I just invited you into my mind, and my thought process. The mind of an individual who suffers with anxiety/panic attacks. I must say though, I’ve come a very long way because my anxiety/panic attacks are no where near what they used to be, and I’m so damn proud of myself for getting this far!! Before we go deeper, if you just started reading my blog at this point, go back and read my very first blog. Now, let’s go a little deeper. Usually when it’s first diagnosed, other illnesses have been ruled out. I thought I was really sick, and I didn’t understand what I was going through. That was my case. The biggest struggle with this is people. Sometimes they might be your friends, or your family members. Many people in general don’t understand it. They don’t want to understand it, and they can be quite insensitive. The next biggest struggle is the symptoms, clammy skin, rapid heartbeat, heavy breathing, or feeling like you can’t breathe at all, dizziness, weakness, shakiness, nervousness, feeling extremely anxious, and feeling like you’re about to pass out. Just feeling like you’re always in imminent danger when in fact, you aren’t in any danger. But your body goes into panic mode because of your thoughts which is scary enough in itself. Sure most people say, “Change the way you think”. It sounds so easy right? But, it’s not at all. Anxiety/Panic Attacks feeds off of fear, and it needs it to survive within you like how a fish needs water. It smells your fear, and then it attacks you. It attacks your mind which then signals your body to react. Fight or Flight. In order to heal you have to get to the root of the problem. What do you fear? Why do you fear? What are you soooo afraid of? You’ll have to dig deeper into your past maybe in order to find out what could be triggering your fear which is now triggering your anxiety/panic attacks, and now affecting your body. Then, you can begin to heal.

If you’re reading this and you suffer from anxiety/panic attacks, you are not alone. You are not crazy. Do not be ashamed to seek help, or take meds if you really need to. Pick up a hobby or two. Find something that makes you happy, and do that! Read a book. Talk about your anxiety, write about it, join a support group, surround yourself with supportive individuals. Seek counseling. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. You can get through this. But it’s hard work. But just like with anything else, you must put in the work. Don’t give in, and Don’t give up. I didn’t even want to share this with anyone. But maybe I can help someone by sharing my story. I’m doing so much better because of my support system, through my research, long talks with God, long talks with people who understand me, and doing this blog has truly been therapeutic for me. But more importantly because I wanted to be better, and I am determined to not let this defeat me. I refuse to let it have control over me anymore. I am stronger than this. If you are reading this, and you do not suffer from anxiety, please be kind to others who do suffer with this. Learn about it first before you judge. Listen with the intent to understand, and show support especially if it’s your loved ones. Do not call it crazy or any other offensive names. BE WELL! 🙂

Porn Confessions —

Porn Confessions

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Porn Confessions

‼️WARNING ADULT CONTENT AHEAD‼️

Is watching Porn so Taboo? I mean personally, I like watching Porn for so many reasons. I like it because it gets me hot, and bothered. I like it because it’s interesting, you know with all the different ethnicities. Everyone has sex so differently, and it intrigues me. I like it because there’s so MANY different categories to choose from!!! Look up Apetube, they must have a million categories on there ranging from CUM INSTRUCTION EATER, FACE SITTING, CREAMPIE, CUCKHOLD, to ALL HOLES just to name a few LOL. You name it, and I guarantee you it’s on this website. Whatever you’re into, it’s on there!! Anyways, I like watching Porn because you can learn how to spice things up in your bedroom even more than it already is. Whether it’s a new position you picked up, and want to try it out, or you just wanna try something totally, and completely out of the realm of things, that you’re used to doing. Like maybe you never rode your man’s tongue before, and maybe he never tongue fucked you before, for example. As a matter of fact you should try this, LADIES sit on his face, and FELLAS enter her with your tongue. Ladies then commence to grinding, and riding his tongue nice, and gently. The trick is you need to ride it just like how you ride his dick but only it’ll feel 10 times better than the feeling you get from riding him!! Explosion ahead. FELLAS, and you can try fucking her mouth, with caution of course because nobody needs to go to the ER LOL. Tell her to open wide, gently enter her mouth as far as she wants you to go, then commence to gently stroking, or maybe mildly rough strokes in and out of her mouth. OR why don’t you both try laying on top of each other naked, chest to chest, stomach to stomach, dick to pussy, and pussy to dick. Both of your naked bodies grinding sensually up against the other’s most sacred places. As he slowly rubs up, down, around, and in between your lips, his tip keeps hitting your clit, as he takes nice & sensual strokes up and down. He keeps rubbing up against your entry point but never entering. A HUGE explosion ahead. Oh back to why I like watching Porn lol, I like it because it stimulates my mind as well as my body. Porn is not taboo…well not for me. Not in my humble opinion. It affects your body in the same way, the actual act of sex does. What stimulates the mind also stimulates the body, as the transfer of signals occur. Then, the HORNY feeling is born. Porn excites you, relaxes you and gives you pleasure. Who doesn’t like being pleasured? I understand some people are practicing abstinence, and yet they probably still THINK about pleasure often. Porn is not taboo. If you’re in a committed relationship, and you like to watch porn. It’s not cheating, and there is nothing wrong with it. Watch it, and watch it together! If you’re having sex of any kind, you’re participating in Porn. The only difference is, you’re just not in front of camera recording it for the world to see. Maybe you are. It’s OK either way.

Brown Beauties —

Brown Beauties

Brown Beauties

Sis, do you know how beautiful you are?
Sis, do you know how strong you really are?
Sis, do you know how beautiful your hair is?
Sis, do you know how beautiful your dark skin is?
Sis, do you know how beautiful your light skin is?
Sis, do you know how much you’re worth and did you add tax?
Sis, do you know how brave you are?
Sis, do you know what you’re capable of?
Sis, do you realize your potential?
Sis, did you know that you deserve only the best?
Do you?
Sis can I talk to you for a moment about us, and may I keep it real?

Sis, the fact that we can wear our hair straight one day, and wear it in its natural state the next. The fact that random people always want to feel our hair to see its real because its just that beautiful. The fact that we come in many different shades. The fact that people go tanning, in an failed attempt to achieve our many shades of beauty. Sis, the fact that people purchase replicas of our thickly rooted, and shapely body types through surgeons because they can’t buy it bottled up off a shelf. The fact that our skin naturally glistens without help. The fact that we have a rhythm that cannot be duplicated. No not quite. The fact that we always find a way to make something out of nothing. Sis, the fact that we know how to stretch a dollar into two dollars. The fact that we can raise multiple children on our own, work, and go to school, worn out without complaining. Many times with very little, or no help at all. Sis, the fact that we always find a way out of no way because our MAMAS showed us the way, and led us by their examples. The fact that we are STILL being oppressed still to this day in 2018. Sis, yet we keep pushing through, we keep rising to the occasion, as we have all learned how to do so by our ancestors who also led us by their examples. Sis, the mere fact that we are more than capable of sitting on the throne in the White House, sitting in the court room JUDGING, or being the permanent DOCTOR on call. Sis, we are QUEENS who deserve KINGS, who treats us with infinite respect, love, and care. For we deserve nothing less. Sis, what you are, and what we all are, BEAUTIFULLY MADE. A beauty that was embedded before being embedded in the wound. A beauty that runs so deep. Sis, we are a force to be reckoned with. Sis, the fact that we hate on each other simply because our skin tones are different is beyond sad, and highly disappointing. Sis, a racist individual doesn’t care if you’re light skinned, or dark skinned because to them, its the same skin. The same BROWN, AND BEAUTIFUL SKIN! Do better SIS! Let us all do better together. Together we are a MIGHTY FIERCE FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH!

BE WELL! 🙂

Colors —

Colors

LOOK BEYOND

Can’t we all just get along? Why can’t we all just get along?

Questions I ask myself at least two times a day, with zero answers no where near in sight. My mother raised me to be a proud black girl which manifested into the proud Black woman I have become today. She would tell me over, and over again to love the skin that I’m in. Until it stuck like crazy glue, or more like gorilla glue. She also raised me to see beyond color when it came to others. She wanted me to love myself yes, and to love others also. Regardless if they looked like me, or if they didn’t look like me. To look, and to love beyond color. I can see how to love beyond the colors. I can see colors, yes I can because I am not, nor have I ever been colorblind. I love them. All of them. However, all of them won’t love me back, simply because color is all they want to see, and are willing to see. In their eyes, my color is the wrong color. It’s an inferior color, the one left at the bottom of the barrel that gets overlooked. It’s just the continuation of a division which has been apparent long before I was a thought. It frustrates me completely because I’m cut from a different cloth.

My very first friend was a beautiful girl who happened to be of Asian decent. I had met her at the laundromat, and we became the best of friends. My mother would make me go with her to the laundromat every weekend which I hated lol. Anyways, we would play for hours, and hours in our own little innocent world. Not even knowing, or realizing it yet, the evil that was lurking on the outside of our world. Outside in the real world. Not our made up one. I miss her still to this day, and I hope she’s doing better than OK wherever she might be. She was so nice to me, and so kind. So was her mom, who I imagine was raising her right, and was instilling the same righteous values, and morals, in her that my mother was instilling in me. To love everyone. If only the world could’ve been like us. If only the world could play together like we did. It was so much fun, and so genuine. I didn’t know how to give a damn about her skin color, or her ethnic background. We were just two little girls having fun, and enjoying each other’s company. You see…racism, and hate are taught. What unfortunate lessons to teach. I just can’t understand why for the life of me, Why do you refuse to have anything to do with me, simply because of the color of my skin? Not even knowing me. I don’t understand why you look at me like gum on bottom of your shiny shoe, simply because of the color of my skin. I don’t understand why you assume I’m lazy, simply because of the color of my skin. I just don’t understand why you assume I’ll steal, and follow me around in the store, as soon as I walk in simply because of the color of my skin. I just don’t understand why you assume I’m always mad because of the color of my skin. If I am mad, its because of the way you’re treating me, simply because of the color of my skin. I don’t understand why you look at my natural hair with such disgust, simply because of the color of my skin. I don’t understand why you generalize me with others alike, simply because of the color of my skin. You wont give me a chance, simply because of the color of my skin. I just don’t understand why you hate me, simply because of the color of my skin. You don’t just hate me though, you hate me with so much conviction. You just don’t even know just how DOPE of a person I truly am! How GREAT of a person I truly am! How much of a HARDWORKER I am, and just how INTELLIGENT I am! You’ll never know, simply because of the color of my skin. I can surely go on, and on. But what will it change? What will it prove? There’s no changing a ignorant mind that was groomed for a racist mentality. A mind that is so closed due to the negative overflow. It’s so unfair, and disappointing to say the least. If only the world could see beyond color. I wish we could all get along. A prayerful wish, that I’ll probably have to take to my grave.

CELEBRITIES —

CELEBRITIES

Celebrities are human beings first, and above all else. Human Beings just like me. Human beings just like you. But sometimes we forget don’t we? We forget that celebrities have feelings just like us. We forget that celebrities cry just like us. We forget that celebrities have insecurities, and are flawed just like us. We forget that celebrities feel hurt, and pain just like we do. We forget that celebrities experience heartbreaks, and betrayals just like we do. We forget that celebrities make mistakes. We forget that celebrities sometimes have moments where they feel alone, and depressed just like we do. We forget that celebrities have good, and bad days just like we do. We forget that celebrities have families just like we do. We forget that celebrities aren’t perfect. Yes they signed up to be celebrities, and signed up for fame, OR maybe they didn’t sign up. Maybe they just simply listened to their calling which manifested into celebrity which blossomed into fame. Even if they did sign up, did they truly know, and understand what was in store for them? Did they sign their lives over to us too? Do they deserve to be judged, ridiculed, criticized, and bullied though? We don’t own the rights to these celebrities. Some of us get so caught up in these celebrities so much so, that we think we know them. We think we own the right to judge them. We think we own the right to tell them how to be, what to do, how to dress, how to talk, which hairstyles to wear, and how to think. We think we have a say so in who they choose to be with, and who they choose to love. While we’re all sitting behind our keyboards with our problematic selves in our problematic relationships. We say that we love our favorite celebrities so much, yet we bash them in the very same breath, every chance that we get. We purchase their music, buy tickets for their tours, watch their movies & TV shows, buy their merchandise, and follow them on social media, one day. Then bash them the next day. Can you close your eyes, and imagine for a second if you will? Imagine just wanting to do what you love, and loving your craft so much. Imagine how it would feel to see how happy you make other people feel simply by doing what you love to do. Imagine being put on a pedestal, or up high on an untouchable throne, where people look up to you. Imagine going home after performing for a big crowd, only to come home to a big house filled with lots of material things, and no one to share it with. Imagine being surrounded by personnel all day long, having to be impersonal, not being able to differentiate the genuine people from the fraudulent ones, and spending everyday with no privacy. Imagine the flashes from a variety of cameras blinding you at every single turn. Imagine being stalked, and hunted down by paparazzi, just like how a lion does with his prey. Imagine not being able to go out, and enjoy the normal things in life without being bombarded by needy strangers. Imagine going out to dinner having to sign autographs in between sips, and bites. Imagine your kids being called names, and being bullied on the internet. Imagine having a mental, and emotional breakdown. Imagine having a health crisis. Imagine having to mourn, and grieve death with a million people watching your every move. Imagine trying to balance 20 different schedules, running off little to no sleep, and you’ve eaten much of nothing. Can you imagine? Now imagine dealing with all that, while simultaneously being underneath a microscope of scrutiny, and having to be in a public spotlight that’s never dimmed. Would you sign up for something like this? Not many people can handle the high price of fame. You should know that money doesn’t buy happiness. It can however, buy you a rug for you to sweep your unhappiness under. Celebrities are not excluded.

BE KIND!

BE WELL:)

For MOMS —

For MOMS

I feel like an Octopus whose tentacles are being pulled, and stretched in every direction. I feel like my mind went missing, and everyday I hold a search party for it. Everyday I pray it returns. I just can’t seem to find it anywhere. I feel like I’m going crazy, and in my head, all I can hear are these little innocent cute yet very annoying sounds, sounds of little voices calling me repeatedly. Annoying because they keep calling me a name over, and over and over again. Yes a name, and not a bad name. But, it sure isn’t my legal name. I just need to use the bathroom. As soon as my rear touches the toilet, the knocking on the bathroom door commences. They always find a way to disturb me. Sometimes I don’t even need to use the bathroom, and I use it only for sanctuary. I just want to go to sleep, but I have to take them to practice, go cheer them on at a game or a competition. I have to help them with their homework which can be frustrating in itself. Sure he could help me out with all these things. But, I’ll just have to redo it all over again anyway, the right way. I might as well do it myself. I’m starving, and I just want to eat a little something. But I have to make dinner for some very picky eaters, and I have to fix their plates first. I’m always the last person to eat. My mind is racing because I have so much to do with so little time to do it. I still have to iron their clothes for tomorrow. So much is expected of me, and I’m needed in more than one place at a time, at the same time. I’m feeling so drained, and nobody gets it. Nobody understands how tired I am. It’s hard on me and I love my family with every bone in my body. My bones are tired though. I’m tired, and I just need to rest.

Finally, I did everything but I’m exhausted beyond exhaustion. Oh but now, I have to get in a shower or bath, and perform. I have to put on an Oscar worthy performance. I have to do something to please him. I’m just too tired though, and I don’t feel like it tonight. I’ll do it tomorrow. I’m not doing it tonight, and off to sleep I go. This cycle repeats itself the very next day.

I JUST INVITED YOU INTO THE MIND OF A MOTHER.

First of all, know this! Understand this! There is no one like us. Mothers are beyond special. I can’t even put it into words. But I’ll try. Mothers can carry another human being or more than one human being at once, for 9 months or longer. Mothers produce food with nutrients for that human being. Mothers nurture like no other. Mothers protect like no other. Mothers possess a fearless strength of 10 men, that will be revealed to you immediately, if you mess with her human being. A strength that knows no bounds. Mothers love like no other. Mothers are professional multitaskers. Mothers wear so many different hats, and she wears them all well.

If you are a mother/wife/girlfriend/singlemother with kids I understand. We can all relate. Let me give you some unsolicited advice that may help you out a great deal. I don’t care what time of the day it is, you need to set aside 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes, or an hour or 2 hours of everyday! You need to have some ME time! ME time is a must no matter what. Find a calming place first, wherever that might be for you. Listen to some soothing sounds of music, read a book, eat a snack, talk on the phone, browse social media, go for a walk, get a hobby, go to the gym or do whatever you WANT. Keyword “WANT”. Do exactly whatever it is, that you want to do! Do what makes you HAPPY! Another keyword “HAPPY”. If it makes you HAPPY, do that! You deserve it! There is nothing wrong with ME time! It’s healthy! Do this away from the kids, and away from the boyfriend or the husband. You need this for it will keep you sane. It will bring you peace. Be Well 🙂

Get to know me! —

Get to know me!

About Me

I thought it would be cool to list some facts about me! Get to know the woman behind the blog. BTW, the pic I posted here is me lol. Hi!!

  1. My favorite color is pink.
  2. I LOVE HALLOWEEN so much that I think I should’ve been born on that day.
  3. I’m a Pisces.
  4. I’m a homebody.
  5. My favorite tv shows right now are, Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, Greys Anatomy, Love is, Shameless, Greenleaf, Ozark, Riverdale, Queen Sugar, How To Get Away with Murder, Insecure, and 9-1-1
  6. My favorite movies are, The Color Purple, Malcolm X, Black Panther, The Conjuring 1 & 2, The Sixth Sense, The Burbs, Couples Retreat, Romy & Michele’s Highschool Reunion, Central Intelligence, Jason’s Lyric, Stomp the Yard, Tuskegee Airmen, Red Tails, Lord of the Rings, Love Jones, When the Bough Breaks, The Devil Wears Prada, Bride Wars, 30 days of night, The Women of Brewster’s Place, Meteor Man, The Bodyguard, Step Brothers & All Halloween movies period which includes Jason and Freddy. I could go all day. Check some of these out if you haven’t already.
  7. I LOVE seafood and could eat it everyday. Steamed Crabs and Shrimp are my absolute fav!
  8. I’m obsessed with Utz Hot chips and pretty much all things spicy. I have acid reflux because of it I’m pretty sure.
  9. I like to read books, autobiographies mostly. I love reading about people who interest me.
  10. I love to write.
  11. I can sing.
  12. I love music, and I listen to Jhene Aiko’s album Trip every day at work. It gets me through.
  13. I can play the drums.
  14. Christmas is my other FAVORITE Holiday!!! You know those people who wear holiday attire to work, holiday earrings and etc.? Yea that’s me! Lol Don’t judge me!
  15. My favorite artists are, WHITNEY, PRINCE, MJ, and Beyoncé!
  16. I refused to listen to any Whitney songs for months after she died because it was too sad. When I say I was and I STILL am a HUGE Whitney Houston fan, I mean it. I have a pic of her hanging in my dining area (MJ TOO) books on her, movies, a purse, and everything. I’ve watched all her interviews and documentaries.
  17. I love watching ASMR aka Autonomous sensory meridian response videos. They’re so soothing.
  18. I love cats and dogs. Maltipoos are my fav!
  19. I love pink moscato. I cannot do the heavy stuff at all.
  20. I love watching BodyBuilder competitions. They make me feel like I can do anything.
  21. If I could be with any celebrity romantically, it would have to  be Michael B Jordan, Idris Elba, Kofi Siriboe, Christian Keyes, Mekhi Phifer, oh and Morris Chesnut. There’s more but I’ll stop here. Ohhhhh but wait Kit Harrington aka JON NO NOTHING SNOW OH AND ANDREW LINCOLN AKA RICK GRIMES. I’m done I think. Lol
  22. I hate wearing socks. I’ll wear them of course but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.
  23. I also hate bras. But gotta give these puppies some support lol. So I will wear them until after work hours.
  24. I am obsessed with Bath and Body works and I need to be banned from that store ASAP! BTW Ladies that Champagne Honey Apple scent….Ammmaaazzzing!!! Go pick that up!!!
  25. I don’t like drama or negativity.
  26. My favorite place to go in the summer is the beach. I could lay on the beach for hours and hours listening to the sounds of the ocean. But HOLD the hot sun and the sharks.
  27. Obsessed with Fashionova!
  28. I love cooking!!
Well that’s it for now!!! Thanks for taking the time to read my blog!! 🙂
Spice up your sex life!! —

Spice up your sex life!!

Spice up your sex life!!!!

  • Go to your local sex store together, or visit their website, and pick out a few items. Here’s a few stores I know about, Love Ones, Adam&Eve, and Amazon. I suggest you try any double penetration vibrator, Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy girl Gspot vibrator rabbit, or a double penetration penis ring which can benefit the fellas, a swing, K-Y jelly flavored or unflavored, handcuffs, a couple porn movies, and some exotic colored light bulbs to set the mood. The red light special light bulb is the best.
  • Grab a sexy outfit, some sexy lingerie. Like some thongs, a netted one piece or a two piece, that really shows off your ASSets if you know what I mean, or if you prefer your birthday suit, that’s ok too. Pick out some sexy heels that you can keep on throughout your encounter. Fellas just be naked and ready lol.
  • Grab a glass of wine or whatever your drink of choice is. Alcohol makes you extra horny but don’t get too drunk. Lol If you’re a drinker, that is.
  • Role play. Play a role you wouldn’t normally play. Let your hair down, and get wild.
  • Try new positions or put a twist on the traditional ones you like. Try twerking on his penis while it’s inside of you, or ride him while simultaneously massaging his balls with your hands. You could also try sitting on his penis without moving while kissing him, then slowly lift up off of him until your sitting on the tip of his penis, and just grind on the tip in a circular motion

    until he can’t take it anymore lol.  Fellas instead of just bending her over shoving it right in for doggystyle, turn her over, LADIES arch your back, spread her lips and butt cheeks widely apart, slide it in gently, as far as you can get it, go deep, your body should be pressed up against hers so much so, that you feel like you’ve become one. Your balls should be rubbing up against her clit & your penis should be rubbing up against her in between her butt cheeks with every thrust, do deep long soft strokes in and out. Try it!!! These are some examples lol.

  • Talk dirty to each other throughout your encounter.
  • Try deep and sensual kissing throughout your encounter.
  • Have foreplay and play around in the morning, Sext throughout the day. But don’t have actual sex until that evening. By then, you’ll be a different kind of horny, and you’ll have steamy sex that will result in both of you exploding.
  • Have sex in a public place, the movie theater, the car, the park, but don’t get caught lol.
  • Videotape yourselves and watch it back together. Then lock it up real tight some place safe.
  • Incorporate edible products like whipped cream, hot tea, mints, and ice. Use Mints, hot tea, or ice for oral sex. Think outside the box! Ladies use with caution lol. Don’t over do it!
  • Try

    just having oral sex ONLY one night.

  • Enjoy, and just have great sex and Be Safe!!