HIS PEACE

I have a confession to make. 

As the woman in this relationship, I demand so much of you, and I want all of your time. I want all of your energy. I expect you to take care of all of my wants, and all of my needs. I expect you to grant my desires, and I expect you do it when I want you to. I expect you to do it how I want you to. Exactly how I need you to. I need you to drop me off at work, pick me up after my shift has ended, and not a minute over. I want you to get me my favorite foods, whenever I have a desire, or a taste for something specific. I want you to ask me how my day was. I need you to give me money for my hair, and my nails. I want you to take me out often. I need you to help me out more around the house. I want you to tell me that you love me frequently because I just want to hear it. I need you to kiss me, and show me some affection. I want you to give me a massage, yes rub my feet. I need you to protect me, and keep me safe from harm. I want you to have sex with me when I want to have sex, and do it exactly how I want it. I want you to stop arguing with me. I need you to provide. I want you to read my mind. I need you to communicate with me. I want you to understand me. I just need you to see where I’m coming from. I want all of your time, your complete, and undivided attention. I need you to give me compliments. I need you to be my peace. You’re the man in this relationship, and these are all the things I know you’re supposed to be doing for ME. 

 Sis, can the man breathe? Did you ask him if he wanted something to drink at least? Damn! You keep shouting out about your wants and your needs. Did you stop to think? Stop to think about HIM. What about HIM? Do you ever ask HIM if he’s okay? Do you even care? I understand that we look to men to supply all of our wants, and needs. I understand, truly I do. Men are strong yes! Men are the head of our households, yes! We look to them to make the impossible possible everyday for us. We expect them to move mountains, and turn water into wine for us day in, and day out with no breaks in between. We expect them to please us in every way possible which they deliver on all of these things, and more. We see them as invincible, untouchable rocks that never waver. As much as we want them to communicate with us, we must communicate with them. But, we must communicate with them from a different angle. Present them with a different perspective of understanding. We must communicate with them on another level of understanding, with extra love, and extra care. Communicate with them using caution. I use the word “caution” because SIS you know how we usually approach. We approach that man with more attitude than a little. Men are not talkative beings to begin with like we are by nature. However, you have to keep talking to HIM nonetheless. Let him know that HIS wants, and needs matter to YOU, just as much as you expect yours to matter to HIM. We see men as these strong beings who show little to no expression. No feelings. But, HE does have feelings, and he does express them. Though he may not express them in a way that is acceptable to you. Sis, I want you to open up your mind with understanding for a moment. In most households, NOT ALL, boys are raised to be tough, and to have mentalities hard as some candies. To be sensitive is to be weak. To express feelings is a sign of weakness. It’s not that HE doesn’t want to tell you how HE feels. HE doesn’t know how. At least not in a way that will satisfy you. We as women can be hard to please. Sometimes there’s no pleasing us. Imagine him as a little boy, being roughed up at home on a regular basis because he showed a drop of weakness. Imagine HIM still hearing his father’s voice inside his head repeatedly yelling, “MAN UP” “TOUGHEN UP” “STOP THAT CRYING” “CRYING IS FOR PUSSIES”.  It’s a hard thing for him to shake, and a even harder pill for us to swallow. We as women are so consumed by what we want, and need from HIM, that we neglect HIS wants, and needs. Sis, go hug HIM, let HIM know that you care, and let HIM know that you are genuinely concerned about HIM. Let HIM know that you support him. Ask HIM if he’s ok often. Keep checking in on HIM. Let HIM know that you are ready to listen whenever HE’S ready to talk. Let HIM know that it’s ok to cry on your shoulders for a change, if HE NEEDS to. Tell HIM that shedding tears is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. Tell HIM that it lets you know that HIS guard is down, and HE is inviting you in which is a great thing. Let HIM know that’s it’s ok not to be ok sometimes. Sis, Men experience sadness just like we do. Men stress like we do, only their stress levels are extremely higher because they carry our stresses along with theirs, and the stresses of the world on their shoulders. Men suffer in silence which is why it’s so important  for us as women, to keep the line of communication open indefinitely. Sis, HE needs you to be HIS peace too. Think about it. 

BE WELL:)