NO MEANS NO Part 1

F7629A4E-D202-48F8-ABFC-B2EB6CD1C249WOMEN…THE MOST UNPROTECTED, DISRESPECTED, MISTREATED, ABUSED, and BEAUTIFUL BEINGS AMONG THE LAND OF THE LIVING. 

 

Society I just don’t understand you, and I don’t think I want to. Human beings I don’t understand you and maybe I never will. A woman comes forward and says she’s been raped. A woman comes forward and says she’s being sexually harassed which could very well  lead to rape eventually. The first thing you accuse her of is lying and you demand to know why she waited so long to speak up. How dare you have such audacity?!! A woman is saying she was sexually assaulted. The first that you do is criticize and blame her? Never pointing your finger in the right direction. Point your finger at him. Hold him accountable. What you must know and what you must understand is that before a woman can conjure up enough strength to part her lips. Before she is ready to speak her truth, she has already went through unimaginable stages of trauma, fear, shock, and shame. Imagine… A cowardly robust man rips off your clothes, forces himself on top of you, while you repeatedly scream and cry “NO”. He’s touching you in all of your most private, sacred and vulnerable places. Violating you in every way possible. He forces himself so boldly, so roughly inside of you while you’re still screaming “NO” while simultaneously trying to fight him off.  I guess the word no is foreign to him. No isn’t good enough for him. He’s winning the fight and you can’t escape. You’re experiencing pain without pleasure. He’s hurting you, so bad. There’s no way out and in reality it’s only been a few moments. However, in your real time, it feels like forever. Your body becomes weak and you succumb to his force. He finishes but it’s far from over. After he rapes you physically, he begins to rape you mentally, and emotionally. He bum rushes your mind, kicks off his shoes, and makes himself feel right at home. He tells you that you deserved it, calls you a “slut”, and he threatens your life. He threatens your family’s lives. He engraves a fear in you so deep, that it frightens the depths of your soul. Then he leaves, but he left his bodily fluids behind, for you to lie in shame. Shame is what you feel. He made you feel ashamed. He made you feel dirty, weak, and disgusting. You want to run and tell. But, you can’t. At least not yet. You’re not ready to tell. So many thoughts are rushing through your mind. You’re broken. You’re scarred. Before you can begin to speak your truth, you have to put yourself back together piece by piece.

 Did I paint a good enough picture for you? So after a woman endures this magnitude of trauma, you shut her truth down immediately?! You blame her and not him? She’s the victim! Yet somehow she is to blame. You question why she took so long to speak her truth. Whether it was a week ago, three months ago, one year ago, five years ago, ten years ago, or 20 years ago! A crime was committed. A crime is still a crime and trauma doesn’t have an expiration date. It should never be taken lightly. We live in a world dominated by the Patriarchs. Some happen to be rich Patriarchs, who could care less about protecting the Matriarchs. YES, WE live in a world driven, and dominated by male privilege. God forbid the man is of a high caliber profile with great wealth. He will try to vanish her truth and he will persuade the masses to follow suit. Then again, what’s done in the dark always comes to the light. 

Acknowledge HER.

Protect HER.

Listen to HER.

Believe HER.

Seek justice for HER.

Hold HIM Accountable.

Blame HIM. 

No absolutely means NO. 

BE WELL

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